Funny Things

Sometimes funny things happen to me.

Once I was driving down the road with the windows down, probably singing really loud to the radio, when a bee flies in through my window...and right down my shirt.  I freak out.  I pull the car onto the shoulder, which is really small.  So I'm half in the road half in this bike lane, I jump out of the car and start flipping my shirt trying to get the bee out.  Understandably.

That would all be fine BUT in my panic to get the bee out of my shirt I forgot to put the car into park.  So here I am trying to get this bee out of my shirt while my car is driving away from me.  In the end I ran and jumped in my car with a bee free shirt.
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Another time my car was so dirty that the car wash could not be avoided.  I was a hazard on the road. I really hate the do-it-yourself car washes so I always go through the ones that are automated.  I pay my $5 and drive in.

I'm listening to my podcast and playing a little spider solitaire.  My podcast finishes and I realize I've been in here a while.  I notice that the jets are just spraying in the same spot.  Its one of those cage sprayers so it not like I can just drive out.

I start looking around for ways out.  What is the next step...call 911, call my brother, call my roommate, call ???  Then I notice a sign on the wall with a big red button, "Push for Emergencies".  That would be a great idea if the jets weren't spraying full blast right at me!!  I would have to get out of my car getting myself and the inside of my car soaked.  No thanks. 

I sat there for another few minutes trying to decide what to do.  I decide to just rattle the machine a little... so I start driving forward a few feet then back a few feet.  Finally that jars the machine enough to finish the cycle and let me out.  Car Wash you are dead to me.
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This story isn't really a funny story, its more of an "are you serious" story.  I was out jogging by my house.  I'm on a downhill stretch so I'm going fast.  Across the street this guy is playing in the field with his 2 dogs.  His little yappy wiener dog spots me and takes off after me.  I start running faster but its still coming at me. It only had to cross the street before my ankles were going to be dog food. I look ahead and see 2 cars coming...

I can tell by their trajectories that this is not going to be good.  What could I do?  Nothing.  So I just cover my eyes.  Poor little dog didn't make it.  The owner ran over.  I felt awkward.  I wanted to go over and comfort him but I also didn't want to see a squished dog.  After a minute I edged out and ran home.  I felt bad but it was either me or him...and I'm glad it wasn't me.